THE FEELING
Have you ever walked into a park, building, or a room and felt the hair stand up on the back of your neck? Have you ever felt a strong sense of dread fall on you like you walked into a pool of yuck?
I remember this happening a few times growing up, but never really thought much of it. Then one summer evening, after Kevin and I got married, we were exploring our new surroundings in New Jersey.
New Jersey is known as the Garden State, but we lived in Kearny where most of the yards were made up of concrete and potted plants. Getting out of there to explore the natural beauty of our state was important to us.
One night, we decided to go check out large rock formations in a park nearby. There were HUGE boulders jetting up all around us and the park was filled with people who all looked like they were having a good time.
However, despite our amazing surroundings, we felt uneasy soon after we arrived. We both looked at each other and agreed something was off. Due to the “ick” we both felt in the area, we decided to leave. We couldn’t explain it, but we didn’t want to be there anymore.
When we got home, we googled the park to see what the history of it was. What we discovered was a heinous murder that happened there a few years back. We looked at each other with utter shock.
We weren’t crazy. But what do you do with this? We chalked it up to coincidence and went on with our lives.
A FEW YEARS LATER…Discovering the Yuck Feeling and What To Do With It
Our family was on our annual road trip to Colorado. Our kids were two, five and six at the time. We made it to central Iowa where we decided to find a campsite to spend the night. We wanted to have our tent set up before nightfall, but each campground we drove to felt off. I couldn’t in good conscience stay at these places, even though I had no good reason not to stay. Kevin was also in agreement.
We finally decided on a spot because it was dark, not because I wanted to stay there.
I was a mess. My whole body was shaking and I didn’t know why. I couldn’t place it. Everything around me felt off. I hid it as best I could so that we could get everyone in bed.
AN OPEN VISION
As Kevin was helping our youngest get ready for bed, our oldest said, “Mom, I am seeing something right now.”
At the time I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I did not want to stop her from talking. I always want to make sure she feels secure in talking to me about anything, so I went with it and started asking her questions.
“Honey, what are you seeing?” I replied.
“I see all these balloons around me.”
“What do they look like?”
“Most of them have rainbows and ponies on them. In the back I see black balloons with pictures of skeletons. Jesus just took His magic wand and popped the black balloons.”
“You see Jesus with you?”
“Yes, mom! He took care of all the scary balloons.”
“Do you still see the colorful balloons?”
“Yes. They are still there.”
She was just giving me the details as she was interacting with this vision the Lord was giving her. It was beautiful and amazing!
I was in awe at how the Lord was teaching her about His power in a way that was so simple and scriptural.
What I have discovered is that the Lord fully knows our maturity level and how to speak to us and teach us where we are at. He used something that was easy for my 6 year old to understand about his power and authority through colors and pictures.
I knew as part of my role as her parent, I could help explain what she was experiencing.
“Wow, that is amazing. Jesus just showed you that He has power over the enemy. He doesn’t even have to work at it to get rid of him. He just has to pop him and he disappears.”
This was amazing for me too. Through my daughter, we both experienced the scripture come to life.
“The Lord will fight for you. You only need to be still.” Exodus 14:14
We thanked Jesus for teaching us about His power and she seemed content.
MY SON’S PRAYER
However, I was still shaking. I was curious why my daughter just had that encounter with Jesus. What was He up to?
Then my son Hunter said, “Mom, can I pray for us?”
“Yeah, sure, that would be great.” I replied back, still unclear as to what I was feeling or what was happening.
He said, “Thank you Jesus for who you are. Thank you for dying on the cross for us. Thank you that your blood protects us from evil. Protect us tonight as we sleep.”
Wait, What?!?!?
This was not a normal prayer for him. Why did my son pray this prayer, especially tonight? He wasn’t listening to my conversation with McKenna, he was wrapped up in something else. I was floored and in complete shock.
MY OWN VISION FROM THE LORD
Did God just teach me about His authority through my children? Did He just teach me that it is not hard for Him to defeat the enemy? That His blood covers my family and protects us? That all I need to do is pray?
After those questions swirled through my head, I immediately saw a vision in my mind of the outside of our tent. I saw a dome of shimmering and glistening colorful light dropping over us. A whimsical, protective barrier.
It was absolutely beautiful.
My whole-body shaking STOPPED and everything became QUIET inside of me.
Was I just finishing up a lesson about who God is? A lesson that was taught by the Holy Spirit Himself? I strongly believe that I was.
I’ve been taught that the Bible is not just meant to be read, but also experienced because of how relational our God is. On this camping trip I was living that out.
I started thanking Him for what an amazing teacher He is and how He can use anything to teach me, even my kids.
There is no “junior Holy Spirit.” (see this blog post)
They have the same Spirit living in them that I do.
I thanked Him for what He was showing me and fell asleep immediately.
TALKING TO MY MENTOR
When I got home from our trip, I called one of my mentors and asked if he could help me understand what happened while we were in Iowa. I had so many questions, but thankfully my mentor was gracious to answer all of them in a calm manner. This brought me great comfort..
He asked where exactly we were when this happened. I told him we were just off of Highway 80. He wasn’t surprised and said Highway 80 is known for high levels of sex trafficking. He said I was probably able to discern the evil that was in the area because the Lord is beginning to heighten my awareness of my discernment. However it is up to me to grow in this gift and to learn more about it.
He told me the Lord is using my gift of discernment in this way as a call to intercede. He suggested when I feel that way again, to ask the Lord what He is doing in the area. I should follow His leading on what to do and then ask the Lord to take that feeling and to replace it with His peace. I did not need to hold on to the “yuck” any longer.
WHAT CAN YOU DO?
If this story has heightened your awareness of what the Lord is showing you in your life, but you do not know where to turn or even what questions to ask, I would love to walk alongside you. I can do my best to help you understand what the Lord is doing in your life. Please reach out through my CONTACT page so we can get the conversation started.
The Lord desires to take us deeper into our relationship with Him. We just need to be aware of what He is doing in our life and follow His leading, whatever that looks like.
May you be bold with the questions you ask and the way you pursue more of the mysteries of God. He wants to reveal them to you.